Twins Bet on Cloning Technology to Revolutionize Rogers Bullpen—Could Baseball Never Be the Same?

Taking the reins on the business front for the Twins, owner Tom Pohlad has unveiled a fascinating new venture with Brasher Microform, a cutting-edge firm diving deep into the world of DNA cloning and experimentation. Now, if you think that sounds like a sci-fi flick, you’re not alone—but this move is all about embracing that “Twin” identity, quite literally. Pohlad didn’t just bring Taylor Rogers back; he’s envisioning an entire bullpen made up of Rogers clones. Yeah, you heard that right!

After Rogers inked a one-year, $2 million deal on January 23, reinforcing a bullpen that’s been limp since last season’s trading chaos, this plan adds a wrinkle that’s bold and admittedly a bit wild. With only one other southpaw reliever with MLB chops on the roster—Kody Funderburk, who’s already relinquished his #55 jersey to Rogers for a #57—this cloning gambit could change the game entirely. Pohlad even joked about pitching worries becoming a thing of the past—blow out one Rogers’ elbow? No sweat, just pull another from the ‘tank.’ He pointed to Tom Brady’s dog as a precedent of sorts, which… well, it raises more questions than answers.

The tech behind Brasher Microform’s “Inner Safe” process claims to replicate DNA without the usual lengthy wait of re-aging clones from seedlings—creepy, yes, but fascinating. Oddly, though, the company’s website offers no contact info or physical address, leaving a shroud of mystery around the operation. And when asked why the Twins didn’t just sign Taylor’s actual twin brother, Tyler—who signed with the Blue Jays—Pohlad candidly said cloning was the more budget-friendly route.

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Fresh off taking charge of the business aspect of Twins baseball operations of the Twins, team owner Tom Pohlad has announced a partnership with Brasher Microform, a company specializing in DNA experimentation and cloning.

“It’s in our identity: Twins,” Pohlad said. “We brought back Taylor Rogers, and he’s a twin. It seemed apropos to craft our entire bullpen out of copies of him.”

Rogers returned to his debut team on January 23, signing a one-year, $2 million deal and providing left-handed help to a bullpen still foundering since last year’s trade deadline fire sale. The team only has one other active southpaw reliever with MLB experience: Kody Funderburk, from whom Rogers has reclaimed his old number 55 (Funderburk will now wear #57).

“With a full slate of Rogerses in the bullpen, imagine the lack of worry about pitcher exhaustion,” Pohlad said. “One Rogers blows out his elbow? No problem, we can pop another one out of the tank. It worked for Tom Brady’s dog.”

The Brasher Microform website touts its experimental “Inner Safe” technology, allowing for DNA reproduction without having to re-age the cloned subject from infancy. Curiously, there is no contact information for the country listed on the website, nor is there any address or location listed.

Upon being asked why the Twins did not simply attempt to sign Taylor’s twin brother Tyler in free agency (Tyler signed with the Blue Jays) if they wanted multiple Rogerses in the home bullpen, Pohlad said, “The cloning partnership was less cost-prohibitive.”